George Burton Adams said:

“There is no such thing as a ’self-made’ man. We are made up of thousands of others.

Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into the make-up of our character and of our thoughts, as well as our success.”

Each of us is impacted by those around us.  Without others who among us would be where we are?  Regardless of age, power, fame, or education, we are influenced by the opinions of others.    

Success

Success is measured by where one is and by the battles that one has fought.  Each of us should dare to dream, see our potential, and fight with every ounce of strength to make it happen.

Over the years, I learned that by refusing to accept to accept limitations and seeing the glass as ¾ full, one can change the world. The world is  not without adversity.  Adversity is the opposite side of successs.  The greater adversity one faces, the sweeter the success can be.  

Opportunities

Today, we worry in business about “glass ceilings.” Glass ceilings often exist only in our minds.  Imagine instead a situation where there are no real opportunities for advancement. That is the kind of community where I grew up.

Growing up in rural southern Oregon, there were two industries – logging and tourism. Boys typically grew up to work in the logging woods or to be involved in tourism as guides or boat drivers. Girls typically grew up to raise their families, wait tables, and be motel maids.

My pet peeve wasn’t that I wanted to do what the boys were expected to do. The issue was that it was wrong for there to be a double standard and one set of expectations for boys and a separate set for girls. And it was wrong that there were no meaningful opportunities for either boys or girls to build a better future.

Family Values

My family, unlike some, valued education. So, that was a natural outlet for me.

While most people in my father’s family had college degrees, they did not have more than Bachelor’s Degrees. In my mother’s family, education was not seen as a route to success, especially not for women.

My parents wanted my brother, sister, and me to go to college. Yet, if my sister or I had decided to drop out after the first year, my parents would have accepted that decision. College graduation was mandatory for my brother.

Blazing one’s own trail

When one grows up where there is no opportunity for advancement and where education has not been valued historically, one either accepts the status quo and blends in, or one steps up, stands out, and blazes his or her own trail.

Instead of settling for the status quo, one has to choose to fight it.  How does one person fight the status quo.  One day at a time.  In negotiations we talk about focusing on factors within your control.  Each of us can control ourselves.  So that is the starting point of most successful changes.      

Dream

If one goes to an elementary school where students weren’t expected to graduate from high school, one seems likely to conclude that education is unimportant, or that it is the key to a better life.

To knock down barriers, one has to see what is possible and to strive to achieve it. And to hope. And to fight. And to ignore excuses to fail. “You can’t do that.” “You will never achieve the goal.” “No one from this town has ever done it.” These statements are always made, often by well-meaning people.

Rather than accepting the words at face value and letting them hold one back, one must concluded that the people are crazy, or the words don’t apply. No obstacle was to strong to prevent me from going over it, under it, through it, or around it.  When we do this, we see ourselves as unstoppable.  And so we become.  That is the power of a dream.

Highway to Hana, Maui, Hawaii 2005

Making an environment

When one is in an environment where there are artificial limits and one refuses to accept “what is” and insists on “what may be”, one finds outlets for realizing the dream. For me, education was the outlet and the path for achieving my dreams.

We all need role models.  For me, the customers at my family’s resort became role models.  The customers talked to me and told me about their businesses.  Within a couple years, they also were asking me for advice about what they could do to improve their businesses. 

Power of Dreams

What is the power of a dream?  Having a dream is important.  So is having a plan and acting on the plan.  If one believes in their dreams and chooses to act on them, a dream can obstacles into opportunities.  So it was for me anyway. 

In six years, I rode a school bus for more than 75,000 miles and still did the best that I could each day.  At the end of six years, I graduated second in my class and was named an Oregon Scholar. 

For all the awards and commendations, one might assume that there was some great scholarship, right?  Well, not exactly.  When I graduated from high school, I received a $50 scholarship. That’s right, $50. And that was okay….

Since I was eight years old and getting an allowance of $2.00 per week that money had been saved.  Later, I’d worked in my family’s resort.  That money too had been saved.  Luckily, I didn’t have to buy my own clothes, there weren’t any fast food restaurants, and the nearest store was six miles away…  But, if there had been, would it have made a difference?  It might have posed temptations, but it wouldn’t have led me to spend the money.  My dream was too important.  

Men in my family had traditionally gone to Oregon State University.  I was the first woman to do so.  At Oregon State, for the first time in my life, I struggled and failed multivariable calculus.  That had never happened to me before.  And, it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. It was a “wake up” call for me.

Failing something is never comfortable or pleasant. Failing told me to try harder, do more, and care more. Otherwise, when one fails, one walks away as a quitter or a failure. Well- meaning friends and relatives encouraged me to change majors because mathematics was so hard.  I ignored them and added a second major, Political Science, and drove myself forward.  So it was that I earned my Bachelor of Science degrees in a total of four years, and finished in the top 20% of my class.

As I tell my business students, each of us has choices and one of the choices is deciding what our priorities are.  While many students chose to move off campus after their Freshman year, I chose to stay on campus. While many students had cars, I chose to save my money. 

Why? Because my dream hadn’t been realized. My goal wasn’t to earn a Bachelor’s degree or two. It was to be a lawyer. More than that though, it was to fix the world so that things worked the way that they were supposed to.

Moving to Texas

Success can only happen if one risks failure.  So, after graduating from college, I boxed up all of my possessions, and shipped them half-way across the US to Texas.  Its advertising used to say that Texas was a whole other country. For me, it wasn’t just another country, it was a different world.

Law School

Law school was just an obstacle that stood between me and my dream. So, I went through it, along with 167 other people. Our class started with 224 or so students, so about 25% of the students dropped out, or were suspended for academic or other reasons.

We had almost achieved our dream… All that stood between us and being able to call ourselves attorneys was a 2 1/2 day exam. The longest 2 1/2 days of our lives…. By the third day, many of us had gone with almost no sleep for several days. Like about 95% of my class, I passed the bar exam on the first attempt.

Conclusion

The conclusion of the story was just the beginning… Now, perhaps, you see why I believe in having a vision and setting goals. If you are one of the people who perceives that the story is too personal or too much about myself, I apologize. Dreams are personal.

When I encourage people to dare to dream, set high standards, and reach for the stars, there is one reason… Experience demonstrates that we can make our dreams come true. The power of positive thinking and self-confidence makes each of us unstoppable.

We are limitless when we believe in our dreams.

Independence Day, Grapevine, Texas 2004

Filed by Coleen Davis at 5:38 am under About Coleen Davis, Achieving Goals