When people leave the corporate environment, there tend to be a lot of companies who want to stay in touch and would like to do business.  They want to “help” the person.  Often, those people have merely switched sides of the table.  Rather than representing the large company, they are representing a supplier and selling to their former coworkers. 

When I left SBC Communications, I decided to walk a different path.  While some at SBC and some former suppliers wanted to do business with me, my initial reaction was, “No.  I am not leaving SBC to switch sides of the table.”  Many disagreed with that decision.   

Two and a half years out, the decision was the right one for me.  I am just now in the position to start my business.  Maybe, SBC and some of the other firms will want to do business.  Maybe, they will not.  Only time will tell.

This posting discusses some of the factors that led to my decision.  Perhaps, it will be helpful to others.  The factors that led to my decision are:

• Relationships have to evolve
• Interests of the parties have to be aligned
• Good business decisions are in everyone’s interest
• Friendships are compatible with good business decisions

Let’s consider these issues…

Relationships

When people work together, they grow to expect each other to behave in particular ways.  It creates a set of expectations between the parties (a psychological contract). 

Sometimes, people act in a manner that is inconsistent with their psychological contracts.  This causes a lot of conflict.  That is the storming stage of team building, right? 

Most people dislike conflict.  As a result, to avoid the conflict, they act in the expected manner.  This is a form of “self monitoring.” 

If a person is seen as an “X,” whatever X may be, it is difficult for the person to take on a different role.  All parties in the relationship have difficulty adjusting to the change.  Most people accept this and become the X that others think of them as being, or something very similar.

What this means is that, if one wants to evolve to a new role, it can be easiest to leave the organization and to walk away from relationships that existed previously. 

In my case, I was tired of being told to be a typical procurement person and to stay inside that box.  Needs of the business must come first.

Interests of the Parties

The interests of the parties must be consistent with the needs of the businesses involved.  Personal friendships should not be allowed to prevent the needs of the business from being achieved. 

When people have worked together for several years, it can be difficult for them to separate personal friendship from needs of the business.  This means that, in many cases, personal friendships need to end in order for people to move forward with business ideas.

Good Business Decisions

Making good business decisions is in everyone’s best interest.  At the end of the day, business decisions must be defensible.  This is especially true in the wake of corporate scandals and Sarbanes-Oxley.

Selecting suppliers based on personal friendships result in bad business decisions.  For friendships to endure over the long-term, it seems to me that business decisions must be made independent of those friendships. 

It is difficult to see friends struggle.  As a result, the friends may have to distance themselves.  This allows the people involved to build from the past and towards the future, rather than holding each other back. 

An approach that helped me was to build a new network of people who are similarly situated so that we can help each other learn.

Friendships

Friendships can be compatible with making good business decisions.  The friends that we keep need to be appropriate for the decisions that we make and the direction that we are going.

Conclusion

Is this an issue that you have faced?  If so, please share your experience. 

Do you do business with friends?  If so, what steps did you take to ensure that the business you do meets the needs of the business?

Filed by Coleen Davis at 11:49 am under About Coleen Davis, Business Acumen