Practical Solutions to Business Puzzles

Connie Customer asked her friend Sam Supplier to send her 30 widgets.  Instead, Sam sent her 3.  This made Connie look bad with her customers.  She even lost one customer over the issue.

Connie is frustrated, disappointed, and angry.  After all, her friend has let her down.  How does she deal with this issue?  What are her options?

Connie can deal with the issue in one of three ways:

• Walk away from the relationship
• Ignore the issue
• Work through the issue with Sam

Think about these options.  Which of these options is best on a personal and business perspective?

For my money, the answer is clear…  Connie should work through the issue with Sam.  Even if Connie and Sam choose not to do business with each other again, working through the issue will allow them to remain friends.  Still, a lot of people walk away and others paper over the issues.

When Connie talks with Sam about the issues, she makes it possible for them to build a stronger relationship. 

From a business perspective, it is critical to deal with the molehills.  If they deal with the issue while in close proximity to when it occurs (although a brief break may be helpful), Connie and Sam are likely to build a better relationship.

In their book, Crucial Conversations, Kerry Patterson and Joseph Grenny suggested that people prepare for potential high stakes discussions by integrating concern for self, concern for others, and goal for the relationship in deciding what to say and do.

The questions they suggest provide a good starting point. What other steps might be taken? Or, using the framework that Patterson and Grenny suggest, what might Connie do to deal with the issue?  What words might she use?

First, a few steps for dealing with the issue: 

Connie should take the dialogue offline. If the situation is raised via written message, it can be taken out of context.  Similarly, if Connie raises the issue in a public meeting, the issue can grow.  It also takes time away from the public meeting.

Where there is an emotionally charged situation, Connie and Sam might (arguably should) ask someone else to help facilitate the discussion.   Have you ever tried to facilitate a discussion that you were emotionally engaged in?  While it sometimes can be done, asking someone else to help is often a better option.

If Connie and Sam are to have a candid discussion, they need to know that what is said is not going to be discussed publicly.  Revealing confidences can harm relationships.

Connie should think about the situation before speaking.  Surprises often lead to starting reactions.  As she thinks about what she is likely to say, Connie has the chance to think about what Sam may say as well.  This reduces the surprises.  Having a general idea about what she is going to say frees Connie to focus on what Sam is saying, instead of the next point that she wants to make. 

Now, what issues should be considered in the discussion?

Vision.  What sort of relationship are Connie and Sam trying to create?  What does this really mean to each of them? Often, Connie and Sam will have different perspectives and assumptions on these questions.  Most of the time, they will have assumed that the other one has the same perspectives and assumptions.  How is it supposed to work?  What sort of relationship is she seeking?  Why is this relationship important on a personal and business level?  Connie and Sam need to develop a shared vision for the relationship.  Only when they have developed a shared vision that has been agreed on are they ready to proceed to the next step.Issue.  Based on the relationship that Connie and Sam are seeking, why is this issue relevant?  How does the issue interfere with the relationship?

Define criteria.  Often, in a situation like this, people “dive in” and start talking about the options.  Before getting to options, Connie and Sam should talk about their goals, constraints, parameters, concerns, and timelines.  A face-to-face meeting or virtual meeting is often best.  Whiteboarding the criteria for both parties saves a lot of time.  Connie and Sam should agree that ”solutions” are options that meet the criteria they identify. 

Options.  Based on the relationship that Connie and Sam have agreed that they are seeking, what are the options for resolving the current issue?  What can be done to prevent the issue from reoccurring in the future?  Sometimes, they may agree to disagree.  In other cases, they may agree to defer to one party or the other.  Much of the time, the resolution is likely to be simple steps that they will take if the issue, or a related issue arises.

Select solution.  Once the options are on the table, Connie and Sam can work with each other to identify the solution (or solutions) that best meet their needs. 

Finally, what tactics should be used to help conduct the discussion? 

Ask open ended questions.

Find out what the other person means, rather than assuming what is meant.

Try to understand each other’s perspective.

Try to keep the discussion on target, with reasonable departures.

Seek common ground.  Build from the areas of common interest an common concern.

Grow the pie by finding options that help both parties achieve more than they can achieve individually.  Otherwise, Connie and Sam can end up arguing over the crumbs.

Accept people as they are, rather than as Connie and Sam might like them to be.

Focus on the desired outcome for the discussion and the relationship.  

If the parties have a difference of opinion, Connie and Sam can go back to the visin and ask how and whether setting that element aside and agreeing to disagree on that point will impact their success.

Check for understanding.  Hypotheticals, walking through the solution, and asking what if questions can help Connie and Sam be sure that they are on the same page.