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Emotions in negotiation
Sunday, October 7th, 2007

In simple negotiations, emotions can lead to faster agreements. Think about the person who “falls in love” with a new car. In many cases, the person buys the car without regard to the fact that his or her current car is just a few years old and running fine.
When negotiations are more complex, longer, or fulfillment of the contract will require effort and commitment from all parties, some rely on emotion. Does it work? Well, it may work for some individuals even in this situation.
In these more complex negotiations, emotional responses can be a negative. When emotions are involved, important questions may go unanswered. These questions may include:

  1. How will we fulfill the deal?
  2. Why is this deal important to both parties?
  3. How can we make the deal better for everyone involved?
  4. What issues are likely to arise as part of the project? How will we know that the issues have arisen? What should happen if these issues arise?
  5. Who needs to have what information? Why? When do they need it?

In other words, emotional responses often prevent people from thinking through and planning for the real world issues that determine the success (or lack of success) associated with complex projects.
How can people deal with emotions in negotiations?

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Relationship Tip: Act in a manner consistent with the relationship sought
Friday, August 31st, 2007

Think about the way people act in personal relationships. In such situations, many are more open about feelings and make decisions based on feelings.

When these same people move into business relationships, they may act very differently. Why is that?

In many cases, the individuals have learned the importance of acting in a manner that is consistent with the relationship sought. The other persona - whether business or social - may have developed as insulation or because it is more effective, based on their prior experience.

Think about political or business leaders, for example. What would happen if they behaved on the campaign trail like they do when they are fighting to achieve a particular objective or their personal lives? While it might give constituents a good idea of who the person is at a human level, would this give constituents a good idea of how the person would act, if elected?

Consider context and the nature of the relationship sought (by one or both parties) in deciding the conduct, tone, and degree of information disclosed. Much of the communication in any “negotiation” is determined by the context and the nature of the relationship.

Perhaps, a good leader is a person who is able to adapt and behave in an appropriate manner based on the particular relationship involved? If so, a good leader is a person who is able to negotiate in a particular context. After all, that ability is what makes the good leader effective and that is one of the requirements that I have for good leaders. How about you? Can a good leader be ineffective?

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Relationship Tip: Go the extra mile
Sunday, August 26th, 2007

John (not his real name), a senior executive at a public company, asked me the other day what the company needed to do to strengthen relationships with customers.

The short answer to John’s question is that companies have to go the extra mile, if they want to improve their relationships with customers (and suppliers or employees, for that matter). What does that really mean though? Well, I will give you a real example of two things that I have done in the last couple weeks to build a relationship with one of the outfitters and the customers at The Illahe Lodge.

A couple weeks ago, an outfitter was washing his plastic silverware that is used for lunch as his customers float down the Rogue River. The outfitter mentioned that he was trying to find sturdy plastic forks and all he had found was forks that break. As it happened, I was in town a few days later and looked for forks. Low and behold, I found a package of 1000 sturdy plastic forks for $1 or $2. So, I bought them for the outfitter. It was a small investment on my part. When the outfitter was back in a couple days ago, he was surprised that I bought the forks and gave them to him. It took 5 minutes on my part, yet it is already paying dividends in that he knows I look out for my customers. Yes, the outfitter paid me for the forks, although it was unnecessary. What goes around comes around, right? In addition, I washed the outfitter’s plastic silverware.

A second thing that I did was to offer the guide the choice of desserts on the final raft trip of the year. The choice? Blackberry or apple pie, both home made with fruit that I had picked. The guide selected blackberry pie. The customers asked about the pie and, by the way, they were very impressed that I took the time to pick the fruit and make the pie by hand. Impressed enough that I received a nice tip, which I split with the person who helped me with the meals.

The lessons to be learned from these situations are simple.

- Think about what you can do to improve your customers’ experience. The difference between a satisfied customer and one that talks about you with his or her friends may be the little touches that make you stand out.

- Something that happens once may be luck. When something happens repeatedly, there is more going on than mere luck. The forks were a first time. I had been impressing the outfitter with the pie for about three weeks and, each time, the tips have been better.

- Share rewards with team members so that they are more likely to contribute to the team’s success. Often, people receive tips in restaurants and are required to split the tips. Rather than adopting rules, why not do what is right? I was able to impress the customer because other members of my team were backing me up, helping me wait tables, washing dishes, clearing tables, etc. I may get the credit in my current role, but would the best pie in the world make up for lousy service or other issues? I think not…

The lesson ot be learned is to think about what your customers value. From here, look for opportunities to go the extra mile, in a way that is cost effective and makes your firm stand out in your customers’ memory as different, unique, and special? That is what “delightment” is all about…

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Relationship Tip: Walk your talk
Wednesday, August 15th, 2007

When handling contracts at large companies, I had to rely on suppliers to tell me the truth and to follow through on their commitments.

Many firms and people make commitments that they are not prepared and able to honor at the time the commitment is made. This usually leads to frustration and disappointment.

Rather than disappointing the customer, supplier, or friend, it makes more sense to make promises if and only if a person or business is ready, willing, and able to honor commitments to the letter.

This approach can frustrate and annoy people initially, especially those who are accustomed to promises and sales hype. Once they realize that you are serious, many people appreciate someone who stands behind his or her words and, in other words, “walks their talk,” even (or, perhaps, especially) in business.

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Relationship Tip: Manage Emotions
Tuesday, July 24th, 2007

When trying to encourage people to contribute their ideas to team meetings, it is important to manage emotions.

When emotions go unmanaged, people who might disagree tend to fall silent.  If people who disagree remain silent, we lose the benefit of their wisdom.  Mistakes are made.  Issues are overlooked. 

By managing our emotions (and helping others manage theirs), we create more inclusive and participative teams.  In many cases, this approach helps people work together.

What steps can be taken to manage emotions?

Recognize when emotions are likely to be high and have a plan for dealing with the emotions, if they arise.  By preparing for the discussion and having a plan for dealing with emotion, we are better prepared to deal with emotional situations when they arise.

Separate views from the individual.  By focusing on the substantive issues rather than making personal comments, people are better able to participate in substantive discussions.

Genuinely care about everyone’s success.  If people know that we are committed to their success, they are less likely to feel personally attacked.  Reserving judgment, understanding what the other people are saying, and diffusing tension are three ways of doing this.

What does this mean for your business?  How do you want to deal with conflict?

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What should we do now where Iraq is concerned?
Thursday, July 12th, 2007

Many people - including those in the US - had strong misgivings about the wisdom of invading Iraq.  The planning was grossly inadequate.  The US appetite for sustained conflict was questionable.  But, our president made the decision to invade Iraq and our representaties supported that decision.

That is old news.  Fast forward to today.  Regrettably, the technology for uninvading Iraq does not exist.  We have to live with our actions up to this point.  And, we are responsible for the consequences of our decisions.  

In our government by pollster, we have seen a lot of polls about our support for the war in Iraq.  Americans oppose the war and are tired of seeing Americans killed and maimed.  We would rather see the money spent elsewhere.  We are concerned with the lack of progress.

All that said, what options exist for us today?  We could leave Iraq.  We might stay the course.  We might invite dialogue with countries in the region.  We might even engage in dialogue with terrorists.  Maybe, there are options for growing our influence quickly.  Potentially, there are other options that I don’t see. 

What other options exist?

Which options are best for Iraq, the US, other countries, and the world?

Once these options are identified, let’s come up with a plan that is based on factors within our control, rather than expecting Iraq or other countries to act in a certain manner.

Food for thought:

What is going to happen if we withdraw from Iraq today, as many are asking the government to do? 

Do you see it as realistic to expect the fledgling government of Iraq to solve the problem? 

 What strategy is going to leave us better off tomorrow than we are today as it relates to Iraq and international politics? 

Think about what can be learned from this situation for future decisions to intervene in or invade other countries.  What does this mean for our business decisions? 

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To outsource/offshore, or not to outsource/offshore?
Saturday, July 7th, 2007

In my opinion, there is no one right answer to the question of whether or not to outsource/offshore.  The right answer is specific to the people and the context.

Three factors to consider in assessing the situation and determining if outsourcing/offshoring will reduce costs are: (1) business impact of outsourcing/offshoring, (2) resource requirements, and (3) firms’ compatibility. Here is a bit more information about these three factors.

Issue 1. Can the function be outsourced without adversely impacting the business?

Recently, I looked at the issue of promotional products for my family’s fishing lodge. While we could create the items internally, this would involve reallocating time from primary revenue generating activities to an activity that was unlikely to yield much revenue. In addition, our customers were most likely to want their souvenirs shipped to their houses so that they did not have to deal with breakage in transit.

Issue 2. What resources will be required to make the outsourcing/offshoring successful?

It takes time to build successful business relationships. The people involved have to understand each other’s expectations and build a common language. Even though people may be using similar words, their expectations may be so different that the words themselves cause confusion. If different nationalities are involved, the issue often grows.

Issue 3. Are the parties and their processes compatible?

Compatibility issues relate to many factors including size of the firm, responsiveness, priorities, organizational culture, and the method in which the firm does business.

In the case of my family’s business, I chose to work with a friend who provides promotional items because it was a better fit with how my family’s business operates. Relationships matter to my family and the customers of my family’s business. Smaller firms typically value relationships more.

It is helpful to walk through the processes that will be used and to ask if each party understands and can meet the expectations of the other parties.

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